Trans Joy in the Design Workplace
A whirlwind day: Mistaken for a prepubescent teen in the morning, meeting with the VP of Design in the afternoon.
I’m writing this because I am observing a tension between upper management and the gender diversity of my fellow gen-z-ers. I hope to bridge this gap by seeking an understanding of both sides so we can learn from one another more effectively. Like my gender transition, my transition between student and employee has been ambiguous and squishy. The goal of this piece is to show some nuance past just “using the right pronouns” by sharing my personal experience with gender transition. Being a good ally takes more than understanding how to use the singular they/them and I will end this with some actionable items.
Allow me to introduce myself: I'm Rae Bloom, and I’m a rising senior at Georgia Tech finishing up my B.S. in Industrial Design. I've been a part-time student for my last two years which has allowed me to continuously work in the ID industry for that time. I’ve kept one foot in the cozy queer space of school and one foot in the design world as creating things that people love is my greatest passion. I identify as non-binary and transmasculine and am most comfortable with they/them or he/him pronouns. Since the beginning of high school, I have proudly and openly embraced my queerness. For me, gender has always been a form of rebellion, granting me the freedom to be whomever I want and carve out my own unique path. I consider this non-conformity to be one of my superpowers rather than a weakness or vulnerability.
You see, my transition journey has been a lifelong squishy and subtly evolving affair. I never underwent an overnight social transformation. In fact, I've been delightfully vague about my gender for years. My name change happened gradually, sphere by social sphere, over many months. For me, the inception of my medical transition was marked by my foray into powerlifting—an endeavor I embraced to sculpt my body into a more masculine form. My ultimate goal is simple—to feel at ease and comfortable in my own skin. Masculinization happens to align with the essence of my soul, but the social transition is simply a necessary response to the evolving nature of my physical being. Frankly, it matters little to me how others perceive my gender or the pronouns they use. I'm contentedly secure in how I want my "flesh suit" to look and feel, free from the need for external validation. I understand that the world's perception of me will change as I adopt a more masculine appearance, but hey, that's just a neutral consequence, not a lofty aspiration.
Undoubtedly, I have been fortunate to grow up in a progressive environment and enjoy various demographic privileges in the game of life—being white, able-bodied, coming from an upper-middle-class family, having highly educated parents, and being surrounded by supportive family, friends, and communities. As per the usual disclaimer, I only can speak from my own experiences.
Professionally, I didn't feel the need to disclose my identity until it became a logistical issue. When I changed my name during my first design internship, it was essential for them to be aware, as it would become evident online in the coming days. Even before discussing my gender, I informed them about my gender-affirming mastectomy. This was necessary as I required a few weeks off for recovery and had physical limitations that affected certain job tasks. I also wanted to specify that I did not have cancer and this was actually an exciting life event for me. While coming out at work used to be primarily a logistical matter, it has now evolved into a desire to share my journey and provide a more diverse perspective in the realm of human-centered design.
During my current summer internship, I shared with my boss and their superior that I am currently undergoing a medical transition. I provided this information both for logistical purposes and to offer additional context regarding my emotions in certain situations. With a touch of humor, I told my boss, "If we chat again in a few months, I need you to know that my voice may sound completely different, and I might have a beard." Employing humor has always been my tool of choice to ease tension and initiate challenging conversations.
I have been fortunate that most of my experiences with coming out at work have been overwhelmingly positive. Supportive colleagues and open-minded individuals have often responded by sharing anecdotes about past experiences working with trans individuals, which were meant to put me at ease. On one occasion, a leader in a high-level position bluntly expressed that his role as a leader was to respect my wishes regarding my level of "outness" so that he could provide the best possible support. Although I didn't delve into the intricacies of my transition or identity, I felt genuinely supported by his desire to be as helpful as possible.
However, it is crucial for true allies to approach personal experiences with caution when a trans individual comes out to them. Building trust by attempting to relate through stories about knowing a trans friend or coworker is not often the way to go. Having a friend or coworker in your life already who is trans is not sufficient. When someone shares their transgender identity, it is vital to recognize that each individual's experience is unique. Sharing anecdotes about others' transitions, although well-intentioned, often leaves me feeling disconnected, as I cannot personally relate to those stories. It leaves little room for me to share my own experience as the trans person in the room.
The stories I have heard in this context generally follow a similar pattern: "I had a coworker named Mark five years ago who informed us that he would be taking a few weeks off and returning as Jill. While not everyone was accepting at first, Jill eventually found her acceptance, and things worked out."
To be a true ally, one must exercise caution when sharing personal experiences with trans individuals. It is essential not to attempt to establish credibility by claiming to understand or implying an understanding of the trans experience based on knowing a trans friend or coworker. Humility is key. Instead, take the time to listen, ask non-invasive questions (refer to the appendix for some appropriate questions to ask), and approach the conversation with an open mind, acknowledging that human experiences extend beyond your field of vision.
This comfort with disclosure will become even more critical in the future when people may have no idea that I am transgender. I am faced with the reality that I may be perceived as a straight, cisgender white man, and it will be up to me to share that this is not fully the case (considering I recently started testosterone, people often mistake me for either a masculine woman or a 13-year-old boy). The field of industrial design is predominantly male and cisgender, with the majority of meetings I have attended during my year and a half of work leaving me as the only non-cis-man in the room. As a minority, it can feel like an immense responsibility to use my voice to represent and uplift other perspectives with which I have first-hand experience. However, I cannot fulfill that role without being open about my gender history. If I don't feel safe enough to be open about my identity, I won't be able to share potentially game-changing perspectives in brainstorming sessions that stem from my experiences navigating the world as a female-seen individual. This could result in a significant loss for the company and lead to ethical dilemmas for myself as I strive to be a better human-centric designer. I cannot leverage my female experience as a tool if there is no space to share it.
The trans experience offers valuable insights that can greatly benefit any team. By providing trans individuals with a safe space to share their experiences, you are not only being a compassionate human being but also opening your team up to a wealth of valuable perspectives. As a designer, my connection to both masculinity and femininity enables me to empathize with a wide range of people and approach problems from unique angles. However, in order for me to disclose this aspect of my identity, I need to feel safe and supported.
Any manager with a trans employee should be thrilled when their employee begins their transition. Not only does this signify that they are living authentically, but from a business standpoint, they are likely to become a more productive and valuable team member. Personally, since starting hormone therapy, I have unlocked an abundance of creative energy and passion for my work, as I am no longer expending energy on dysphoria. With my mind, body, and soul aligning through this process, I have become more ambitious and driven, resulting in tangible improvements in my work.
While the deepening of my voice has been an enjoyable effect of my transition, the most significant change I have experienced is the ability to refocus on my purpose, which has been a driving force in my life: creating things that people desire. This drive has been with me since my childhood, when I started making and selling jewelry on the playground, continued in high school when I successfully ran a ceramics company selling beautiful and cultishly desired products and now influences my studies and work in industrial design. I look towards the future as I aspire to create startups that shape the world for the better. Past my mortal time I want to live on through building things that challenge society leading to a more just world. My trans joy carries through every aspect of my life including the workplace.
Actually, good questions to ask your trans coworker: Remember to take answers for what they are and to make it clear that no questions are expected to be answered if it's uncomfortable. Remember as an ally you are not entitled to an in-depth understanding of what someone’s trans identity means to them. You are not owed anything. Your job is to ask how to be as respectful and supportive as possible. Make sure your questions are aimed at how you can help and not aimed at understanding their gender unless you have that kind of relationship outside of work.
How would you like me to refer to you? Are there specific pronouns or names you prefer? (One of the easiest ways to be a good ally is to introduce yourself with your pronouns or include it in your email signature- most people have preferred pronouns! (especially cis people(especially cis people’s dogs)))
Would you like me to correct others if they use incorrect pronouns or forms of address? (I find cis people get really stressed by not knowing how to react to others misgendering you! This is a great question to ask explicitly)
Are there any resources or educational materials you recommend for me to better understand and support the trans community? (If you want to be a good ally you need to spend some time educating yourself- Asking for resources is a great way to express interest in learning without putting pressure on your coworker to be an educator(an additional role we are exhausted by always having to assume)
Is there anything you would like me to share with the team? (Sometimes I want to share information myself and sometimes I may prefer for a trusted person higher up to distribute information)
